


Stay

by Draglitch



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Benrey has no idea how humans work, Black Mesa is a bitch, I swear I have a plan, M/M, Post-Canon, gordon just wants to sleep come ON
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:48:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25833046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draglitch/pseuds/Draglitch
Summary: After the end, Black Mesa decides that Xen will be easy pickings now that Benrey is 'dead'. Benrey doesn't take too kindly to this.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 4
Kudos: 114





	Stay

Benrey was floating again. He was used to this feeling of weightlessness, the loss of physical form. But while his physical state was light, his thoughts were heavy. Heavier than the darkness on all sides. He felt trapped almost, unable to escape the onslaught of intrusive thoughts and emotions. Benrey hated floating. All he could do was think, and thinking always led to this spiral. Especially now, with his passports destroyed and his friends gone. All he could focus on was his own mistakes.

At first he tried to explain away what happened as part of the game. Maybe they didn’t know. Maybe they hadn’t meant to hurt him. Maybe it was all a joke, and his friends would be here soon to pull him out of the darkness. But they didn’t. They were far away, no longer in Xen and happy to be rid of him.

‘Especially Gordon’, he thought bitterly. ‘He wanted me gone from the start.’ He paused, then sunk further into the thought. ‘Maybe they all did.’

It hurt to think that he had been nothing more than a bother. He thought they were all just having fun and joking around. Had none of them felt the same? He had never tried to hurt any of them really.

‘Except Gordon’. He immediately pushed the thought away angrily. It wasn’t his fault that Gordon wouldn’t just regrow his arm. It was so simple! He didn’t know why he kept whining about it. Coomer got HIS limbs back all the time, so why didn’t Gordon just… Do that? Was it just to spite Benrey? Everything Gordon did seemed to be in an effort to make Benrey feel bad or piss him off. Refusing to grow back his hand, saying he didn’t remember Benrey, saying they were never friends- It HAD to be on purpose. Did Gordon really hate him that much…?

He didn’t hate Gordon. He never did. Sure, he harassed him all the way through Black Mesa, but that was because he thought Gordon was funny. They were FRIENDS. Or, he thought they were, until he KILLED HIM. He still didn’t understand that part. He was just joking around. He wasn’t going to actually hurt them. Gordon WANTED him to be bad! He kept saying it, how Benrey was evil, myehemyehhemyeh, we should be cautious, bleuughh. He was doing what Gordon wanted! He wanted him to be the big bad, he was just playing a game with them.

Did they…

Did they not realize it was a game…?

He knew humans were flimsy and nerfed, but they weren’t in any danger. They could just respawn. But Gordon was all myehhh be careful don’t die mmnmngngnn oh no i’m bleeding out ahrhgrghh. Stupid idiot just COME BACK!! He stubbornly refused to entertain the thought that it was his own fault. He refused to acknowledge the real pain in Gordon’s face and voice when his arm got separated. He refused to even think of it. Because it WASN’T his fault, it was Gordon’s for being STUPID. GORDON CRINGEMAN.

The darkness felt heavier.

He wouldn’t stay dead forever. He just had to wait for the cooldown. Very annoying, considering he had a whole plane of existence to protect and he was currently sleeping on the job. No one had really… assigned him as protector of Xen. It was his home, he felt it was his responsibility to protect it. Granted, there hadn’t been much to protect it from in the last 300 years. Yeah, he ate that weird fucking… wrinkled floating fetus looking thing, but other than that, there had been no threats to the place since. His body was slowly reforming, atom by atom. It was much slower than usual, seeing how badly the science team had beaten him down. Mentally sighing, he resigned himself to try and ‘sleep’ through it. Sleeping was closer to zoning out for him, considering he never had any real need for it, but it helped calm down his thoughts.

He could wait this out. Xen wasn’t in any danger. His friends weren’t in danger. Slowly, he shut his brain down, letting himself drift through muddled thoughts and emotions. Memories blurred together and time became meaningless as he let the darkness finally crash down on him, leaking into every crack in his mind. Benrey stayed that way for a while, gliding through pleasant silence and lack of cognitive thought. But of course, he wasn’t allowed to have a moment of peace.

The feeling of someone entering Xen jolted him from his floating. Then another. And another. Several people were entering Xen through artificial portals- Humans, most likely. He was only half built, but his concern only grew as the warnings continued.  He was still floating, but he could see his body now. A skeleton with sharp bones and teeth, with bits of muscles and flesh barely hanging on, slowly trying to encase him. It wasn’t enough. He needed to deal with whatever was happening in Xen, there was no time for healing right now. 

With a bit of effort, he tore through the void surrounding him. He had done this before to harass the Science Team as a skeleton, but it had been easier then. His passports were still intact, and there was no urgency to his healing. But now, he felt weak. Sparks of pain hit him as he moved, pinching half formed flesh between his bones, and ripping some of it away as he forced his way out.

Allowing himself to stretch and relax, he felt his numerous eyes opening where they could. Flying between islands, he made his way to the source of the portalling. He could already see the small figures moving around. 

Several scientists were on a rather large piece of land, setting up the beginnings of a research base. Benrey let out a stream of angry black to red sweet voice, approaching quickly. This was his home, and he wasn’t going to let Black Mesa get its claws on it. He knew what they would do, how they would drain Xen of its resources until nothing was left. 

The scientists finally seemed to notice the huge creature approaching and cries of panic rose between them. Several scrambled back to the portal, while a few ran for the cases of weapons they had transported into Xen. 

Benrey slammed a clawed hand on the teleporter, smashing it to pieces and trapping the remaining scientists. He let out a snarl as gunshots filled the air. It was nothing more than a slight pinch to him, but it still HURT. He turned his head towards one of the offending scientists, and spat a painfully high pitched stream of white to blue sweet voice. Several of them dropped their weapons and crumpled to the ground, throwing their hands over their ears. 

All it took was a sweeping hand, knocking the rest of them into the void below. Its a cruel death considering there’s no bottom. They’d learn their lesson when they respawned. Fucking noobs.

He turned away finally, but didn’t return to the darkness. He clearly couldn’t leave Xen alone for more than a few days. Healing would be difficult without the void to keep him still and safe, but it was better than coming back to ruins. He knew there were more teleporters to deal with, and so he stalked off in search of them.

As the creature prowled away, a timid survivor peaked over the edge of one of the untouched crates. Trembling, the scientist pulled out a communicator, barely connecting back to Black Mesa.

“Th- This is research station 4. Our… Our problem is. Back.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Black to red means I want you dead. White to blue means OW, FUCK YOU.


End file.
